This Sh*t is Real | Resources for Wellbeing in Times of Uncertainty
It is no secret that we are living in unprecedented times. The nature of the current COVID-19 pandemic (I am choosing not to use the word crisis as a part of my self-care practice) has brought about the complete upheaval of daily routines and left us with little but uncertainty for what happens next. For me, I know that this combination of events and climate of uncertainty could pretty easily open the door for me to become overwhelmed, feel paralyzed, and fall into self destructive patterns and depression.
For those of us who have dealt with trauma, depression, and/or addiction, changes in routine and the loss of social connection can be devastating. You might be feeling overwhelmed, or you may even be watching yourself slip into bad habits you’ve overcome in the past and honestly, that’s a pretty normal response. That’s why Self care and self advocacy are going to be critical as we all move through this cluster of an event.
Below, I have shared a couple of tactics I am working with to care for myself and tend to my depression before it get’s ahold of me, as well as some wonderful online resources to keep busy and easily put your wellbeing first.
Breathing in I calm my body,
Breathing out I smile
Dwelling in the present moment,
I know this is a wonderful moment
-Breathing Meditation by Thich Nhat Hanh
Acceptance as a mindset
One critical tool I have been working with is mindfulness and the concept of acceptance. Acceptance doesn’t mean that I am okay with what is happening, but rather, it is the understanding and remembering that my reactions to the situation day to day are valid. Accepting that I am not okay with being told to stay home but will do it anyway has given me space to explore what is important and valuable to me in my normal day to day life. It has also demanded that I be gentle with myself as I move through these uncharted waters. Adopting an acceptance mindset is work, but for me, it has helped to keep my body and mind out of fight or flight and instead grounded me in exploration of my values, hopes, and desires. Giving myself space to practice acceptance acknowledges my self-worth and reminds me that I am doing the best I can in this moment.
Moving My BOdy to soothe my mind
Before life came to a sudden stand still I was practicing Aikido daily and kickboxing twice a week and on weekends, I closed out the week training with Warrior Sisters. This seems excessive to a lot of people, but for me, keeping busy physically and mentally is my number one anti-depressive tactic that keeps me balanced and able to live a fulfilling life without relying on medication. Having this all come to a sudden halt was like a big ol’ hit to the gut. I am grateful that I had developed a few at-home routines before this incident, including running, yoga, and some core workouts that I have been able to lean on during this time. For me, getting outdoors for a walk or jog around the neighborhood has provided a total reset to my days. I have been making it a priority to stop work mid-day (I actually set a time daily to make sure I do it) and dedicate one hour to exercise. I have also been trying to end the day with a gentle movement practice like yoga or walking meditation. A free app that I use daily is Nike Training Club. It has a ton of different types and levels of movement all created to be done in your living room. (And no, I am ABSOLUTELY NOT being paid to share this). You can also find many great classes online.
Time Outside
Time outside has become essential to my well being. I have actually set up 3 reminders a day to get outside, even if just to sit in my yard for 5 minutes or so. Recently, I have been spending a lot of time trying to learn about the birds who share my space. Turns out, we have more than 20 different species who frequent our yard each day (I can only name about 10 of them though). Whether it’s bird and squirrel watching, gardening, or just sitting and breathing fresh air, getting out of the house is a fantastic way to remember that the world of nature is enduring and resilient and when we allow ourselves to be in it, we are too.
Talk about it, Sister
This sh*t is crazy! Each day I feel like I am adjusting to a new set of expectations for what my work looks like, what I can plan to do with the rest of my week, who I can see, etc. It’s tilty and swirling and there’s no easy way to get grounded when every other day there is some new development. I have been leaning a lot on it being okay to be raggedy and just share what’s going on with someone who has the mental bandwidth to hear me out. For me, being able to get emotions out of my head and into the air has helped me a lot in better understanding what is going on for me and also to move forward with work that still needs to be done. I’ve also had a lot of phone calls with people I adore that were not centered on the current pandemic at all, a very fortifying way to breathe into the extra time and space that is now available to us. (NOTE: check with your friends before starting a conversation about COVID-19, we all are processing differently and sometimes we need a break from the madness).
boundaries, boundaries, boundaries
In the age of social media, staying informed is only a few posts away from becoming overwhelmed with information. Each morning, my partner likes to listen to NPR, which means as I am lying in bed, my day begins with the latest “developments” on COVID-19. If I allow myself to get onto facebook, my screen becomes inundated , and at work, we pivot daily with new orders for social distancing and stay at home orders. “Do you want to debrief the entire morning news segment and relive every word of it?” NO. No I do not. Here’s where I have been putting some of the fantastic Warrior Sisters curriculum to use with a three-part boundary:
When you constantly share information about COVID-19 with me, I feel like I am being consumed by this situation, I need space from the news now. (Can I tell you about the new bird I learned to identify today?)
The Takeaway
Although it feels like it, this is not the ONLY thing happening in the world. Right now, seeds are sprouting in farms and gardens across the region. Two house wrens are building a nest together in a bike helmet in our backyard, and that anomaly grey squirrel seems to have finally found a sweetheart (yay baby squirrels!).
Beyond the walls of COVID-19, the rivers are still running, the stars are still shining and the air we breathe is still coming from that same ancient earth that has supported life for millennia. With some grace we will all make our way through this, together. And as we all stumble along, we’ll just need to continue practicing care for ourselves and one another.
Breathe deep and give yourself a hug. I know that we’ll get through this because I know we are strong and resilient, just like our mama’s made us to be.
In Health and Gratitude,
Elizabeth
Online Resources for Wellbeing
You feel like Shit, a Self-Care Game
This game guides you through a series of questions that help you practice self care. It's especially useful for people who struggle with self care, executive dysfunction, and/or reading internal signals. It's designed to take as much of the weight off of you as possible, so each decision is very easy and doesn't require much judgment.
Rest for Resistance | Resources by QTPoC
Rest for Resistance strives to uplift marginalized communities, those who rarely get access to adequate health care or social support. This includes Black, Indigenous, Latinx, Pacific Islander, Asian, Middle Eastern, and multiracial persons.
They also seek to create healing space for LGBTQIA+ individuals, namely trans & queer people of color, as well as other stigmatized groups such as sex workers, immigrants, persons with physical and/or mental disabilities, and those living at the intersections of all of the above.
The Body Is Not An Apology | Radical Self love for everybody and every body
The Body Is Not An Apology is an international movement committed to cultivating global Radical Self Love and Body Empowerment. They believe that discrimination, social inequality, and injustice are manifestations of our inability to make peace with the body, our own and others. Through information dissemination, personal and social transformation projects and community building, The Body is Not An Apology fosters global, radical, unapologetic self love which translates to radical human love and action in service toward a more just, equitable and compassionate world.
Care for your corona virus anxiety | Resources for anxiety and mental health
From the website “If you’re feeling anxiety about the spread of coronavirus —and the socioeconomic uncertainty that comes with it—you are not alone. This is a confusing and overwhelming time for many. And if you’re one of the 1 in 4 people who have already been struggling with a mental health disorder, it can be even harder. We, and the wider mental health community, are here for you. We know that the internet can be an overwhelming place right now, and it can be tough to find the support you need. So the team at Shine, in partnership with Mental Health America, have vetted and compiled a wealth of research-backed and helpful tools for you—articles, meditations, access to mental health experts, anxiety screenings, and more. Think of Care For Your Coronavirus Anxiety as your mental health toolkit during this time.”
Mind your mind | Daily Mindfulness Videos
Join Minding Your Mind’s mindfulness instructor Kristin Page for mindfulness exercises designed to ease stress and manage your mental well-being.
The happiness lab | A Podcast By Dr. Laurie Santos
You might think more money, a better job, or Instagram-worthy vacations would make you happy. You’re dead wrong. In "The Happiness Lab" podcast, Yale professor Dr Laurie Santos will take you through the latest scientific research and share some surprising and inspiring stories that will forever alter the way you think about happiness. She's changed the lives of thousands of people through her class "Psychology and the Good Life," and she'll change yours, too.
Find Someone to Talk To
National Alliance on Mental Illness | Find Help
If you or someone you know is struggling, you are not alone. There are many supports, services and treatment options that may help. A change in behavior or mood may be the early warning signs of a mental health condition and should never be ignored. NAMI can help connect you with the resources you need to find support.
NATIONAL QUEER AND TRANS THERAPISTS OF COLOR NETWORK
National Queer and Trans Therapists of Color Network (NQTTCN) is a healing justice organization committed to transforming mental health for queer and trans people of color (QTPoC). They work at the intersection of movements for social justice and the field of mental health to integrate healing justice into both of these spaces. Their overall goal is to increase access to healing justice resources for QTPoC.
Trans life line | 877-565-8860
Trans Lifeline is a trans-led organization that connects trans people to the community, support, and resources they need to survive and thrive.
The Hotline | 1-800-787-3224
The Hotline provides lifesaving tools and immediate support to empower victims and survivors to find safety and live free of abuse. They also provide support to friends and family members who are concerned about a loved one. Resources and help can be found by calling 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Individuals who are Deaf or hard of hearing may use TTY 1-800-787-3224. Additionally, advocates who are Deaf are available 24/7 through the National Deaf Hotline by video phone at 1-855-812-1001, Instant Messenger (DeafHotline) or email (nationaldeafhotline@adwas.org).
If it’s not safe for you to call, or if you don’t feel comfortable doing so, another option for getting direct help is to use their live chat service . You’ll receive the same one-on-one, real-time, confidential support from a trained advocate as you would on the phone. Chat is available every day from 24/7/365. El chat en español está disponible de 12 p.m. a 6 p.m. Hora Central.’
RAINN | Helping Survivors
As schools, workplaces, and communities around the country grapple with concerns around COVID-19, RAINN wants to take a moment to reach out to say: RAINN is here to help you, no matter what. They know that this is a difficult time, and that uncertainty around the coronavirus may feel overwhelming for survivors already coping with trauma and stress. If you need to talk, they’re here.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a national network of local crisis centers that provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. They’re committed to improving crisis services and advancing suicide prevention by empowering individuals, advancing professional best practices, and building awareness.
Whitebird Clinic | Eugene, Or
White Bird is a collective environment organized to enable people to gain control of their social, emotional and physical well-being through direct service, education and community. They offer programs for youth and adults in person and online in Eugene, Oregon.